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AN UNPREACHED SERMON (147)
I don’t often make use of the New Living Translation (NLT) of the Bible, and never do for serious Bible study. Strictly speaking it is not a translation but a paraphrase and interpretation. Where I do find it helpful, however, is if I am wrestling with a Bible passage I find difficult to get my head round. Glancing at the NLT can sometimes provide the key and a way in. Recently I was literally just flicking through it in an odd moment and came across a sentence that arrested my attention. “Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as is possible” (Romans 12:18).
Having begun this important chapter with a call to consecration and surrender (Rom 12:1, 2), Paul goes on to spell out the implications in very practical terms. And there is nothing more down to earth than working out the best way to get on with awkward people. But, surprise, surprise, keep in mind that there are folk who will not take to us either because they find us equally awkward.
It was E M Forster, who wrote “Howard’s End” and “A Passage to India”, who said “Personal relations are the real life for ever and ever”. His statement makes great sense when placed alongside Paul’s sane advice. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (12:18 ESV). When Paul wrote that sentence, was he thinking back to some situation which he now regretted because he forgot his own advice? A wealth of experience lies behind his wise words; it’s such a carefully put together sentence.
Not everything in life’s personal relationships depends on us, of course. With the best will in the world it can be impossible to live peaceably with some people just because they won’t let us. I always feel that’s why the text has a built-in escape route - ”if possible”.
ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE TWO-WAY
There is a mutuality in every relationship, because there are always two parties: a “you” and a “someone else”. It’s a bit like a mathematical equation or two-sided dual action. Encountering people for the first time, whether we are aware of it or not, we instantly warm to them or take a dislike to them. There is something in the other person we don’t take to or find irritating. And (shock horror) there will be aspects in us that people don’t take to very easily either.
LOOKING FOR COMMON GROUND
Quite clearly Paul sees the obligation to lie with the Christian. It would be nice if the whole of society put this principle into practice, but that is probably unrealistic. “If possible” he says, and “so far as it depends on you”. At the very minimum the obligation is with the Christian believer to make sure the situation is not allowed to continue. Others may choose to reject our overtures, but that is not an option open to those who are consecrated and surrendered to Christ. The obligation is laid on our shoulders. Surely this means at the basic level to seek out good and positive points in the other person? This should be second nature to the Christian. A line from a Wesley hymn reminds us that this is how God deals with us; so why should we grudgingly refuse the same to others?
“Jesus, what didst Thou see in me,
That Thou hast dealt so lovingly?”
The implied answer is “nothing” - but He accepted us warts and all. In every relationship, strained or otherwise, there is always some point of common interest to hook on to.
JESUS AND AWKWARDNESS
Reading through the Gospels makes it obvious that Jesus had a way with people that combined these positive elements. If we read the internal and sometimes tense relationships among the original Twelve disciples, it stands to reason there were tensions in such a motley crew.
For example, probably some didn’t think much of Simon Peter with his way of opening his mouth without thinking. But Jesus saw past that, nicknamed him “The Rock” and saw in him a future stability no one ever imagined. If we follow the Jesus pattern in our dealings with others, we won’t go far wrong; although we won’t get it right every time. Between the “you” and “the someone else” there stands Christ ever ready to intervene and assist. If you want an example of how Paul put his own teaching into practice and enlisted the help of another person in the delicate task, read how he dealt with the two squabbling women in the Philippian congregation (Philippians 4:2, 3). Here are a few lines appropriate to finish with and certainly worth thinking about:
“He drew a circle that shut me out.
Renegade, rebel, a thing to flout;
But Christ and I had the wit to win,
We drew a circle that took him in”.
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