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Writer's pictureRobert Neilly

Adopted mother 20/07/2021

When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. [John 19:26‭-‬27 NIV]


Picture by Matt Marzorati on Unsplash.

This is a beautiful insight which is only recorded in John's Gospel. Mary was a widow - she had already suffered the loss of her husband, Joseph who was perhaps several years older than her. She had not had the undivided attention from her son - not because he did not care for her but because he was engaged in a wider mission which was all-consuming. She had been given an insight into his uniqueness when Jesus was age 12 and she and Joseph, her husband, had taken him to the temple at Jerusalem along with Joseph her husband. You will recall that they travelled back to Nazareth without realising that they had left Jesus behind in Jerusalem. They had then to return to the city and try to find her son. When she saw him in the temple having a deep conversation with the Jewish religious teachers, this made her reflect again on how her son was different. Luke records that they did not understand what he meant when he told them that he must be 'in my Father's house.' There is no mention of Joseph's personal reflection but it says that 'his mother treasured up all these things in her heart' [Luke 2: 51b ESV]

We have already discussed the wedding at Cana of Galilee in a previous Day Share [Whatever he tells you to do, do it 30/09/2020]. Mary had watched Jesus carefully since his birth and by the time of this event, she has no doubt that Jesus is the Son of God and that he can perform miracles. But was she expecting that the life of Jesus would be cut short in this way. Was she aware that her son would be crucified? If we go back in time to when Mary met the old man Simeon in the temple in Jerusalem and the old man looked at the baby in his mother's arms and made a deep statement about the Messiah. He talked about this being a revelation of God's salvation and 'a light for revelation to the Gentiles.' Simeon had hinted that there would be opposition and conflict ahead. He spoke of 'the fall and rising of many in Israel' and 'a sign that is opposed.' So Simeon prophesied that there would be opposition to Jesus. But he also spoke of the impact of this on Mary herself - 'a sword will pierce through your own soul, also.' [Luke 2: 25-35 ESV - selective quotations] So this is what Mary is now experiencing for herself. She has witnessed the sufferings of her own son.

In one sense, Jesus is fulfilling the Old Testament law as the fifth commandment explicitly commanded the Israelites to 'honour their father and mother.' Interestingly, there was a promise attending this - 'that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.' Jesus was honouring his mother but his actions would not prolong his life. [Exodus 20:12 ESV adapted] The comparable commandment in Deuteronomy provides an even greater incentive to obedience as there was a promise that obedience would result in it 'going well in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.' [Deuteronomy 5:16 ESV adapted] Jesus did not need any incentive to obey the law and he completely fulfilled the law in every aspect of his life. This is much more than obedience to the law - it is divine love in action. Mary was a widow and would have been in her late 40s and early 50s. Widows were vulnerable in that society and needed protection and care. Jesus was committing his widowed mother to the care of a man who is described as 'the disciple whom Jesus loved.' This is almost certainly the author of the fourth Gospel. John has found this discreet way of referring to himself in a humble, self-effacing way. He is not stating that Jesus did not love all his disciples and in his Gospel he has emphasised this - see for example, John 13:1. John is speaking of his own memory of a special relationship with the Son of God and this deep experience of Jesus love was his motivation for sacrificial service and for writing this Gospel to testify to the greatness of the Son of God.

It is recorded that John opened his home to the grieving mother of Jesus. This was not a burden or a chore. There would be tremendous compensation for the hospitality and care provided. From a modern perspective, this might seem a bit premature to take Mary into care in effect. She is still a young woman by 21st century standards. Life expectancy was much shorter in the first century AD (or as it is now called CE to remove any reference to the Lord). Maybe Mary needed special care but it would seem that Jesus had been making provision for his mother materially and emotionally and he is now transferring this role to someone who could be trusted to look after his mother.

There were other family members - the Bible refers to brothers and sisters of Jesus (See Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3). Other Christians interpret this differently. For example, the Roman Catholic interpretation of these passages is that these are references to cousins of Jesus - the family of Mary's sister, who some suggest is also called Mary. I do not want to discuss this issue in any detail at this stage. I know that our Catholic friends are seeking to defend a doctrine of the 'perpetual virginity of Mary.' I am happy to accept that Joseph and Mary did have children together and that they are referred to in these passages. This then begs the question as to why the Lord did not hand his mother over to their care. Again, the Bible is silent on this. What we do know, however, is that John the writer of the Gospel took Mary into his own home. Was he married or widowed? Again, we do not know. There would be compensations and advantages for John to have this dear lady in his home. Apart from her deep spiritual qualities, she possibly provided him with insights into aspects of the life of Jesus which were previously unknown to him. The detailed description of the wedding at Cana of Galilee, for example, comes from someone with an insider knowledge.

When I was about 15, I think, my grandmother moved into our council house in Misk Knowes, Stevenston. I have great memories of this time - she was unforgettable in many ways. Her literacy skills were poor and she had had little schooling. She was very caring and determined and made a big impact on me. She doted on my mother and blamed my father for taking her away from her! Much later, Janie and I looked after her mother before she died from cancer at age 59. I wonder what experiences the disciple whom Jesus loved had from sharing his home with the mother of Jesus. It is interesting that there is little or no reference to the birth of Jesus in this Gospel but by the time when John was writing the other four Gospels were 'published.' If Richard Bauckham's theory is correct and John came from Judea, then it would be helpful to have an eyewitness from Galilee. [Bauckham, Richard. Jesus and the Eyewitnesses: The Gospels as Eyewitness Testimony. Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.. Kindle Edition.]

To bring this study to a close, God is a God of compensation. He gives us far more back than we give to him. I am sure that John was greatly blessed for opening his home to Mary.



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